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Joke of the Day

"I have a tendency to run around naked... So every morning I spray myself with Windex, to prevent me from streaking."

"Att'n birds in my yard: the one to the LEFT of the feeder is for drinking, the one to the RIGHT is for bathing. Get it together you guys."

"I'm not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I'm forgetting to do."

"If a person with ADHD went to a camp... ... would it be called a concentration camp? Source: Girlfriend with ADHD"

"Sketch artist: Any more details on the attacker? Me: No, that's all I saw *shows me it's just a picture of a fist* Me: *sobbing* That's him"

"Why can't Mrs.Clause get pregnant? Santa only comes once a year, and it's always down a chimney."

"Grandma's dementia has been really hard to deal with lately. And the worst of all is... ...She forgot about Dre."

"Politicians are a lot like diapers... They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons. (Benjamin Franklin)"

"Why are white girls so odd? Because they don't *even*."

"""What are you going to do with your time, now that you're retired?"" ""I'm going to finish my book."" ""I didn't know you were writing a book."" ""I'm not, I'm reading one."""