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Joke of the Day

"Before my father kicked the bucket he asked me the most profound question... He said ""How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"Which classical composer is best at playing hide and seek? Haydn. [OC]"

"TEACHER: That's the third time this week - please explain your tardiness ME: Well, it basically means that I've been late"

"whenever I think of the happy birthday song I imagine someone softly crying and singing it under their breath, blowing out a candle alone"

"Breaking News: A ship carrying red paint just collided with a ship carrying purple paint, in the South China Sea. Authorities report that the crews of both ships are marooned"

"Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: Wow. Nobody's ever asked me that. Interviewer: Take a minute to th- Me: Arendelle."

"The past, the present & the future walk into a bar. It was tense."

"You: Knock knock, Me: Who's there?"

"What do you call it when Einstein faps? A stroke of genius."

"You and my mother are the only women in my life! Said the redneck."