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Joke of the Day

"Before my father kicked the bucket he asked me the most profound question... He said ""How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"Need to call in a hot female carpenter to fix this morning wood."

"Whats the greediest nut? a cashjew"

"*dresses like a kitty* *climbs tree* *waits for new fireman husband to come rescue me*"

"If you steal a Tesla... Does it become an Edison?"

"What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country."

"What did the flight attendant say to get the attention of the plane full of Kim Basinger clones? ""Attention Basingers"" hahaha"

"Throughout the history of espionage, the phrase ""We have ways of making you talk."" Has yet to be used on a woman."

"Why did you cut me down, lumberjack? Lumberjack: Oh, you really don't know why? Tree: Sorry, I'm stumped."

"I woke up with an erection the other day... It worried me because it wasn't mine"