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Joke of the Day

"Always heard this on the playground growing up... Pete and Repeat were in a boat, but Pete fell out. Who was left?..."

"When a South African tells me they really love math I can't work out if they're a nerd or an addict"

"Knock Knock Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes Sean Connery."

"Why should you never hit people with violins?? Because violins is not the answer..."

"The best thing about sitting next to the white guy with dreads on the bus is no one thinks you're the one that farted"

"If you tell me you're a fan of One Direction, please clarify if you're referring to the boy band or Kim/Kanye's baby."

"What connects The Sixth Sense and Titanic? Icy dead people."

"If a fat person has a fully functioning penis... If a fat person has a fully functioning penis, does that make them a sperm whale?"

"When did the Gorillas start to picket the cookie factory? The day they started to manufacture animal crackers!"

"What is brown and sticky? A brown stick. Bonus: what's red and fluffy? Red fluff."