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Joke of the Day

"If you're bringing a kid to my house, it better be a baby goat."

"My hemorroids are acting up again. I'm butt hurt about it."

"What do call a horse that lives near you? A naybor"

"""do u have twitter"" ""SORRY I CAN'T HEAR U!! UR BREAKING UP"" *makes fake static noises* ""we're not even on the pho-"" *jumps out of window*"

"How many ""friend zoned"" guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw."

"I tried to catch some fog the other day... Mist."

"*puts dreamcatcher above bed* ""Sure hope this works"" *wakes up in the middle of the night* *Ryan Gosling is stuck in dreamcatcher* ""YES"""

"Had a girl say ""I want you to treat me like a virgin"" So I sacrificed her to a tiki god and threw her in a volcano."

"kley (Proto-Indo-European)-> , (Greek)-> clima (Latin)-> climat (French)-> climate Climate change is man-made."

"Where do seagulls live? Shit, wrong subreddit."