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Joke of the Day

"*takes bite of cookie* Aw man this is awful *takes another bite* Still bad. But I better eat the rest to see if it gets better"

"""The Jetsons and Flintstones existed at the same time. One in the sky, one on the ground, and both in a post-apocal-"" ""Juror is dismissed"""

"Corrected: What do you call India's top TV Show? Dan Singh with the Sitars"

"If you start smacking people with your wife's purse she won't ask you to hold it for her anymore"

"I'm 99% sure the plane Harrison Ford was in is from the Amelia Earhart exhibit at the Smithsonian."

"Back up so I can take your picture. Further More. Keep going. A little bit more distance. Drop off the Earth. Perfect."

"We put a rover on Mars and made color changin' beer cans. It's about time somebody invents a day to stick between Sunday and Monday. Merica."

"Don't you wish people could be like money? So you could hold them up to the sun and see which ones are fake and which are real?"

"Why do black people have white palms? There's a little bit of good in everybody"

"What did the wife say as she left her Mexican husband? I'm sorry but I love another Juan."