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Joke of the Day

"I recently learned that anecdotal evidence is not scientifically valid A few friends told me how badly it went for them."

"GROCER: slide your card ME: it didn't work GROCER: does it have a chip? ME: *puts hand over pringle in my pocket I was saving for later* no"

"Taking home work has never been more satisfying I love being a coroner!"

"Im having a Shitty day.... Tell me a yoke"

"Genie: I'll give you more wishes, I feel bad for you Me: [with 3 ice cream cones on the ground] That's very nice of you"

"What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer? A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again."

"I have made nothing but horrible decisions ever since I had my wisdom teeth taken out."

"Doesn't get paid: has popcorn and vodka martinis for dinner. Gets paid: has popcorn and raspberry vodka martinis for dinner."

"""Every time I go out, the paparazzi wants to make an oil painting of me. So annoying."" - 1700s celebrity"

"Two Irishmen walk out of a bar"