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Joke of the Day

"""Every time I go out, the paparazzi wants to make an oil painting of me. So annoying."" - 1700s celebrity"

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"What's the same about nail care and black people? They're both manicures"
"An Trainer talks to one of his Novice Doctor... 'I cannot wait to do this operation!' 'And why is that?' 'If I could not wait to do this operation,I would be no doctor... **'I WOULD BE PATIENT!'**"
"Man, just think how crazy Gollum goes on the 5th day of Christmas."
"What's the difference between a white Jew and a black Jew? The black Jew has to sit in the back of the gas chamber."
"You look like a before picture."
"How to capitalize on a bad situation. ON A BAD SITUATION"
"I love pussy, It's the cunt around it I cant stand"
"How to foil someones plan (pl)(an) = pa + pn + la + ln"
"I'm starting to regret my ""2015 FOREVER"" tattoo."