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Joke of the Day

"To apply for a job at Hooters do they hand you a bra and say, ""Here, just fill this out."" ?"

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? (Most people respond, ""Arrr!"") That's what I thought too, but it turns out their hearts belong to the 'C'."

"The so called genius at the Apple Store mentioned he has a girlfriend; thus, his geek credibility is compromised & I don't trust his advice."

"This lady went to ISIS to convince her son who joined them to come back home She will beheading home soon"

"So, a one-hump camel marries a two-hump camel, and they have a baby, but the baby didn't have a hump. So they named him Humphrey."

"If April showers bring May flowers what do Mayflowers bring? Genocide."

"If you love someone, set them free. When they come back, because they will, make sure you are extremely happy with someone better looking."

"what do my ex and my toilet have in common? They both keep bringing up old shit"

"Was tempted to commit suicide last night... So I bought a semi-automatic rifle and shot up a school. (p.s. for those asking, I did in fact drink their blood)"

"Yeah, I am one of those people who've had milk with whiskey. My mother used to drink a lot post pregnancy."