82939

Joke of the Day

"Yeah, I am one of those people who've had milk with whiskey. My mother used to drink a lot post pregnancy."

"OUR KID WAS SOAKING WET WHEN YOU BROUGHT HIM HOME FROM SCHOOL! Me: [water pouring from backseat] Listen, this car pool thing was your idea"

"Womans Rights see above"

"Saw a guy walking down the street talking to himself, hand gestures and all...So I did the right thing, stopped and told him about Twitter."

"My Grandpa owned a hot dog chain in Germany... You might have heard of it...""Anne's Franks"""

"My Grandfather died in the holocaust... ...he got drunk and fell off a watch tower. I remember NOFX said this when I went to see them can't take credit."

"What type of bagel can fly? A plain bagel"

"Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream.. Ha, ha fooled you, I'm a submarine."

"All I want in life is to be cool enough to cut up slices of an apple and eat them directly from the knife."

"What's the definition of Eternity? The time between when I come, and you go."