109050

Joke of the Day

"A guy once lied about being a broom on the internet... I guess OP was a bundle of sticks."

"A man walks into the bedroom holding a sheep, And says, I just wanted to show you the pig I was fucking. His wife says that's not a pig, and he responds I know I was talking to the sheep."

"Today is a very special day. The one day a year I can say I have a girl."

"Lincoln and Twilight opening the same weekend? Once again, Abe gets killed in a theater, and he's already fought vampires once this year."

"MY EX WIFE STILL MISSES ME... But her theoretical trajectory seems to be improving!"

"I really identify with the trans movement... For the first 9 months of my life, I was a man trapped in a woman's body!"

"Why is it never a good idea to use a Chinese phone book? There are so many Wings and Wongs, you might wing a wong number."

"I'm not trying to be romantic but you have something in your eye. My dick."

"What does a vampire call a hemophiliac? Diarrhea."

"What do you call a laughing mayonnaise? lmayo ahh"