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Joke of the Day

"[final debate] TRUMP: I'd like to apologize to hillary MODERATOR: umm ok HILLARY: umm ok TRUMP: I brought a gift *hands her a galaxy note 7*"

"What does Mrs. pancake say when you compliment her on her weight? Thank you, I'm flattened! I made this joke up on my drive home and am very proud of it. You monkeys better find it funny!"

"The laminator is a device that sounds a lot more dangerous to baby sheep than it actually is."

"I didn't want to believe that my dad was fired for stealing from the transportation department But when I got home, the signs were all there."

"The quickest way to find out the time is to order a beer at breakfast with your mother."

"What do you call a bald porcupine? Pointless!"

"What was the best thing about Jesus' crucifixion? Well, the cross was a big plus"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic bank robber? He ran into the bank and shouted, ""Air in the hands motherstickers, this is a fuck up!!!"""

"Fractions are like sex... It's improper when the bigger one's on top."

"What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after three periods."