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Joke of the Day

"I went to a zoo the other day... All the exhibits were completely empty, except for one dog; it was a shihtzu"

"Christian Bale has done ok for himself considering he's named after a religious bundle of hay."

"Someone told me to stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe."

"A Couple of underscores is to a couple of underscores? Ok. RT @McDonalds: #ShamrockShake is to spring as _____ is to _______."

"Why did the Muslim CEO dislike the cartoon of Muhammad? Because it wasn't prophet maximizing."

"R.I.P. bottled water. You will be mist"

"Sex ed in Texas"

"If I had a pound for every time i misunderstood an expression... I'd way a fucking ton!"

"Why women mature faster than men? Because men start growing breasts only after 40 years old."

"if we're being honest, angelica from rugrats is probably a stripper with a cocaine addiction now."