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Joke of the Day

"[my first day as hand dryer salesman] ""this robot dries your hands with noise"""

"What did the bartender say to the gold when the gold walked into a bar? ""AU, get outta here!"""

"I'm telling you to go to hell because I'm poor. If I was rich I would kill you."

"Why did we skip windows 9? Because 7 8 9 I'm so sorry"

"Did you know Han Solo had an employment agency? Han Jobs"

"""Give me your Vitamin Water and your organic gluten-free cookies unless there's peanuts in them because I'm allergic."" - 2012 school bully"

"I started to work at a seafood buffet... ...but then I pulled a mussel."

"My friend is a sex offender. He never abused anybody, people are just offended at the thought of having sex with him."

"Why did the tennis player get thrown out of his workshop? He was making a racket."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can jam my dick in your ass."