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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a shed full of black people? Antique farm equipment"
Next Joke
"Silence is golden! Unless you have a toddler, then silence is very, very suspicious."
"[Opens hand sanitiser] SUbmiT YoUr SOuL tO EternAL HeLL fiRe [closes lid] wtf? [looks at label] LINDA YOU BOUGHT HAND SATANISER AGAIN"
"What's the difference between the bird flu and the the swine flu? For bird flu you need tweetment, for swine flu you need oinkment."
"[Jack Black's birthday] Oh wow..ANOTHER rock polisher, thanks grandma. ""How is Rock School going dear?"" It's School of ro- *sigh* nevermind."
"Me:*shows up to 1st date with giraffe* Her: OMG, can this date get any better Me:*pulls out saddle* You bet giraffe it can"
"Did you hear about that brilliant Irish investor? His money just keeps Dublin"
"A few days ago i saw an amazing magician... When he opened his jacket and screamed Allahu Akbar he disappeared along with 30 others."
"Q: Why'd the robber take a bath? A: He wanted to make a clean getaway."
"What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before? Deja phew!"