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Joke of the Day

"The only thing I arouse is suspicion."

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"What does Snoop Dogg eat when he visits Montreal? Smoked Meat Every Day."
"My internet was down for almost 4 mins, I'm ok but the 911 operator was a total b**ch about it!"
"My doctor told me to get a lot of rest and fluids so I've been on a drunk rage in my bedroom since 1988."
"Why didn't the engineering student have a good relationship with his professor? There were too many truss problems."
"I was travelling on the West Coast when I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that said: ""I miss Detroit"" ...so I broke a window, stole the radio, and left a note that said, ""Hope this helps."""
"If life was reddit... I'd still be unpopular"
"Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier."
"STRANGER: she has a book. cute and smart ME: [taking a bite of the small layer cake i made to look like a book] STRANGER: a stunning genius"
"3 rings of marriage 1) Engagement Ring 2) Wedding Ring 3) SuffeRing"