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Joke of the Day

"Who was the best prostitute in history? Ms.Packman, for 25 cents she'd swallow balls til she died."

"Roses are red, Violets are blue Gorilla shot at Cincinnati zoo"

"Ancient people: turned grapes into wine, agave into tequila, and sugar cane into rum. Modern people: turn soy, rice, or almonds into milk."

"Why do women prefer 77 more than 69? Because they get 8 (ate) more. Repurposed from a /u/sciomancy6 comment."

"How to Skrillex sign his Valentine's Day cards? I wub wub wub you...."

"Q: If Bill Clinton Hillary Clinton Al Gore and Tipper took a boat ride and the boat capsized who would be saved? A: The United States of America!"

"Why is gay marriage still a thing? Because people are fucking assholes"

"Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don't want to look like a dork."

"I took a Viagra earlier and it got stuck in my throat... I've had a stiff neck for hours."

"If anyone out there is named Aesop dear god please open a table store I have just the name for you."