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Joke of the Day
"My kids and this punchline have a lot in common. They're both a disappointment."
Next Joke
"I just ran a .003048K"
"Him: Watch your language at dinner tonight. Me: So you want less Tarantino... H: ...and more Seuss. M: Gotcha. No swearing. Lots of rhyming."
"Every mirror is a vanity mirror."
"You can't prove that I'm not the center of the universe."
"Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween? Because so many witches are sweeping the sky."
"I changed my old pocket camera into a new Canon 5D because it's a little lighter... but then again it sucks as a camera."
"I think this sub is dying There hasn't been a post ALL YEAR!"
"What do you call it when a horse punches you really hard? A neigh-maker"
"parents: okay we will be home at 11 o'clock! clock: 11:01 me: they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now"