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Joke of the Day

"I just ran a .003048K"

"""Wait, it wasn't us? Are you sure?"" - Fox News"

"Today there was a band-aid on my plate, a bat flew in the house, & a bee stung me. Today was brought to me by the letter B."

"Why did the scarecrow get the Nobel prize? He was out standing in his field."

"A cannibal passed his friend in the woods."

"What's the same with 9/11 and Goliath and the giant? They were both caused by a message from god."

"I rang up a local builder and said, ""I want a skip outside my house."" He said, ""I'm not stopping you."" **Tim Vine**"

"My friend says he has the biggest brain in the world. I think it's all in his head."

"Bert and Ernie are at the beach on a hot summer's afternoon... Bert pulls out his cooler and opens it up. ""Do you want some ice cream, Ernie?"" ""Sure Bert."""

"I am not sure NSFW should apply here, because I am not convinced any one on twitter actually fucking works."