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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hooker, a lover and a housewife? A hooker says ""Faster! faster!"" A lover says ""Slower....slooower..."" A housewife says ""Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."""

Next Joke
 
"My friend asked if working at the 'Depot for the Mentally Disabled' was a shitty job I said it had its UPS and its downs."
"Sometimes people ask me why I don't wear a watch. It is because I just don't have the time."
"Why did the recruiter hire a Spider ? Q: Why did the recruiter hire a Spider ? A: Because he wanted to hire a Strong ""Web Developer""."
"I have an intense fear of hiccups Luckily, I only ever have one."
"Why did Princess Leia take so long to find her hair brush? She kept looking for it in Alderaan places."
"Two scientists walk into a bar... ...The first one says: ""I'll have some H2O"" The second one says: ""I'll have some water too"" The first scientist got angry because his assassination attempt failed."
"Lock myself in the bathroom for an hour and a half to get ready. Come out looking exactly the same, but my phone's at 9% and I have to pee."
"Comb On! What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Gee, I'll never part with it!"
"I don't think anyone here is a serial killer because you have to be really self motivated and it's like we all just eat snacks and take naps"