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Joke of the Day

"The man entered his home... and was absolutely delighted when he discovered someone had stolen every lamp in the house."

"News:""a black bear hovered over a convenience store in central Florida for more than seven hours..."" They have hover bears? jealous again"

"What do you call a fat Chinese person? Double Chin"

"Which weapon has the least amount of drawbacks? A bow."

"What do you call a fast zombie? A zoombie"

"I like my women like I like my coffee Silent."

"a peaceful man was so opposed to war that he upon reading his draft notice he passed out and remained comatose for the duration of the war he was an unconscientious objector"

"There was a new machine at the gym today. I had to stop using it after an hour as i felt sick, but it was worth it got through 4 kit kats 2 cherry cokes and 2 packets of crisps."

"A cheese factory in France exploded. All that was left was debris."

"Is amazed how I go to bed with normal hair and wake up looking like a beat up version of medusa. Am I fighting crime in my sleep? Wtf."