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Joke of the Day
"Why do sorority girls travel in odd numbered packs? Because they can't even."
Next Joke
"ME: bae, you wanna go out? HER: hell yeah ME: ok pliz close the door on your way out I need to play FIFA alone."
"The cure for premature ejaculation is coming soon."
"I'm too young to be too old for everything."
"""Then it's agreed. We'll meet back in this same place in 10 years."" -Me to some dishes in my sink"
"I wish restaurant food looked like the pictures on the menu. A hostess asked me how everything was. I said, ""My compliments to the photographer."""
"What was the point in making your car louder, bro? Do you really want women to turn their heads and notice you drive a 1999 Honda Civic?"
"Australians don't have sex... ...they mate"
"Wife: Where are you going? Me: I'm wearing my robe and boxer briefs so obviously I'm off to fight crime"
"How do bank robbers send messages? By flee mail!"