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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to the grocery store where I'll try to get the cashier to call 911 based only on the items I'm purchasing."

"What does the 'B' in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for? Benoit B. Mandelbrot"

"Why do pirates have trouble walking? Arrrr-thritis"

"What Olympic event that involves throwing should be eliminated? Discuss"

"I've had 6 cups of coffee and am about to shave my pet cactus"

"I once ate an entire pack of rope I shit you knot."

"There's a huge party at the orphanage tonight Their parents are gone."

"My head and I are not on speaking terms this morning. I suddenly know what it's like to be a man."

"What's the Ethiopian national dish? Empty."

"""Hi, I'm here for Paradox Club."" -Actually this is Oxymoron Club. ""Ok, same difference."" *looks at group* -Oh, this guy is good."