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Joke of the Day

"If guns don't kill people; people kill people... Then toasters don't toast toast, toast toasts toast."

"The waitress just asked, ""Still happy over here, guys?"" and I'm not sure how to respond."

"My girlfriend and I were arguing and she asked me to see things from her point of view So I went to the kitchen and looked out the window."

"Did you hear about the corduroy pillows? They're making headlines!"

"When you go to the drugstore, why are the condoms not in with the other party supplies?"

"Doctor Doctor I feel like an apple. We must get to the core of this!"

"I've been stealing retainers and throwing them in a swamp so that in 1000 or so year archeologists think it's an ancient nerd burial ground"

"Sex is like Poker... If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand!"

"What do you call the chicken between the chicken thigh and the chicken wing? The chicken butt"

"I can't believe they let people own guns. Public toilets are all the proof we need that humans have horrible aim."