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Joke of the Day

"Q: Bill Hillary and Al are in a boat. The boat sinks. Who is saved? A: The United States of America."

"MAN TO LIZARD: ""SO I HEAR YOU'RE IN FLOORING SALES"" LIZARD: ""IM MORE IN PROMOTION"" MAN: ""WHAT DO YOU DO"" LIZARD: ""I REP TILE"""

"Did you hear about the lesbians that built a house yeah, they didn't get any studs, it's all tongue and groove"

"My co-worker just dropped this on me, thought I share. What word starts with N and ends with R and you never want to call a black guy? Neighbor"

"My grandfather died in a concentration camp... He got really drunk and fell off the guard tower."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Abba ! Abba who ? Abba'out turn ! Quick march!"

"[sex ed in middle school] Teacher: ""Today we are having sex ed"" Ed: hell yeah we are! Teacher: ""Education"""

"Oh, your kid gets straight A's at school? That's cool. My son knows exactly what to do in case of a zombie apocalypse."

"I accidently filled the escort with diesel.... And she died."

"Miley Cyrus's VMA preformance... Was so classless Karl Marx came in his grave"