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Joke of the Day

"If a guy stares at your boobs, just stare at his d!ck ... maybe squint a little bit"

"This is a better joke than feminism. Just kidding, there's no better joke than feminism."

"How was the sound quality of Shrek's musical keyboard? Nothing special, it was just MIDI-Ogre"

"What is 6.9? A really great thing ruined by a period."

"When God closes a door, he opens a window. So God's pretty clearly getting high in his dorm room."

"My Dr. just diagnosed me as 'paranoid'! Well, she didn't say that, but I know the bitch was thinking it!"

"Why is Batman undefeatable? Because he was coached by Liam Neeson."

"A thief broke into my house last night... he started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him"

"I didn't let my st-st-stutter stop me from achieving my dream career I'm a door-to-door salesman. I sell ""No Soliciting"" signs. The more I st-st-stutter the more I seem to sell."

"The next person to tell me a joke about Indians & call centers is getting beaten to death with my snake charming flute."