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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is a porn star. She's going to be so pissed off when she finds out."

"What do nine out of ten people enjoy? A gangbang."

"Why should you always carry a knife around? Because sharp wits won't always give you the edge."

"What do pygmy cannibals eat for breakfast? Weedie Bix!!"

"Why did the programmer quit his job? He didn't get arrays... edit: After googling I found out this joke already existed :|"

"When somebody I blocked gets RT'd into my timeline it's like they're violating their restraining order."

"Friend: I love FB but it's gettin a lil boring. Me: Well that's cause all the cool peeps are on Twi- ..uh are all dead. Yeah they all died."

"Do you know what happened in the bathroom? Me either, but I heard a lot of shit going down."

"Congress passed some bold legislation regarding cerebral palsy recently They call it the Ballsy Palsy Policy."

"Why do teenage girls hangout in odd-sized groups at Starbucks? Because they can't even."