107825

Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a horse and a cabbage? I have never been hungry enough that I could eat a cabbage."

"Good call inventor of glass tables. There's nothing more appetizing than realizing Aunt Mildred doesn't wear panties while I'm trying to eat"

"In a very touching gesture, Gary Anderson attempted to call up Blair Walsh and offer his sympathy. Unfortunately, they just missed each other."

"Made the mistake of ordering chlorine for the pool and researching Kenya so I'm tweeting this from what appears to be a windowed black van."

"Mom: Wear your jeans! There are too many mosquitoes outside. Feminist daughter: Don't teach me what not to wear. Teach the mosquitoes how not to bite."

"Why did the white girl die of alkalosis? Because she was too basic"

"What do Germans look at on the internet? Danke memes"

"UK: We call it ""Autumn"", from the French word ""Automne"", and later, from the Latin ""autumnus"". USA: WE CALL IT FALL BECAUSE LEAVES FALL DOWN"

"Pay attention to your kids... Because one day he will stuff a sugar free gummy bear in your mouth that he rubbed on a cat."

"Dear MTV, I was wondering if I could get my ""M"" back..... you know, since you're not using it. Sincerely, _usic"