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Joke of the Day

"Him: Are you perioding? Me: Are you deathwishing?"

"Sea levels aren't rising due to global warming. They are rising due to the increase in obesity. The continents are actually sinking..."

"My mother-in-law has got so many double chins it looks like she is peering over a pile of pancakes."

"Pregnancy tests make me wish peeing on things answered more questions."

"The Holocaust Wasn't That Bad ""The holocaust wasn't that bad."" ""Of course it was!"" ""I'm going to go out and kill a million Jews and one clown."" ""Why the clown?"" ""See, no one cares about the Jews."""

"I like my slaves like I like my coffee... Free"

"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."

"Overheard a phone conversation today **Father** - ""What has a small dick and hangs down? **Son** - ""What?"" **Father** - ""A bat. What has a big dick and hangs up?"" **Son** - ""What?"" ""click"""

"There should be an eBay for evil people so they can purchase evil people stuff without having their motives questioned."

"Have you ever heard of movie Constipation? No?? Because it still hasn't come out yet."