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Joke of the Day

"What is a Social Justice Warrior's favorite math subject? Triggernometry"

"murderers are my pet peeve. im a real chill dude until i get murdered, then you better be prepared to have some sarcasm thrown your way"

"Austim is a lie fabricated by the illuminati and used to promote John Cena"

"If you love something set it free, if it stays its yours Go on then pizza, leave! Get outta here..... *pizza stays *happy tears"

"[girlfriend finally texts back] ME: i'm so mad at you. HER: i'm naked come over. ME: i'm not really mad i was jk lol omw babe"

"I had a cocaine joke, but now I can't find it It makes me really mad because I had it all lined up"

"Chuck Norris' feet accounted for more damage in 2005 than both the war in Iraq and Hurricane Katrina."

"I'd Like to Make A Pun About Weed, But... I don't want to be blunt about it"

"Relationships are easier if one of you is a cake."

"Priorities They say people have their best ideas in the shower. I'm mostly trying to remember to wash my face before I wash my ass."