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Joke of the Day

"Be sure to use the word ""irony"" correctly. It means when something's, you know, just weird."

"Why doesn't Mr T like cream and mashed fruit? He pities the fool."

"Curiosity has killed my cat.... At least I think it did. I mistook Schrodinger's box for my cat carrier when I threw the squeaky-catnip-mouse toy in..."

"Why did the farmer get nominated for an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. Why didn't the farmer make it to the award ceremony? Because he was out standing in his field."

"This girl was banging on my door all night Eventually i had to let her out."

"My spirit animal just ran into a glass door."

"What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest? Father Les. And yes, as a matter of fact, I am a dad."

"Did you hear about the preganant comedian? She's got a pun in the oven."

"Russian proverb: the church is near, but the road is icy... The pub is far away, but I'll walk carefully."

"Yo fellas how did that ""wow"" comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?"