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Joke of the Day

"If you don't tell your girlfriend she's beautiful everyday, 614 guys on Facebook who haven't had sex or even been on a date in 9 years will."

"I carry one of those tiny Swiss Army knives with me at all times. You never know when you'll need a tiny blade to thwart an attacker."

"Everyone should have a good, somewhat clean, joke on hand to tell in a pinch. What's yours?"

"Did you hear the joke about Melania Trump? Yeah sorry. You've probably heard it before."

"The other day I was wondering, why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets? And then it hit me."

"OC: What does Babe Ruth and roughly 100,000 antelopes have in common? They're both ballpark figures."

"Whats a shitty nickname for a tree theif? The Log Pincher."

"I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things people need to know NASA!"

"i was just about to ramp my car off a cliff into the ocean but then i remembered someone had told me to drive safe earlier"

"Kill two birds with one stone. Kill two birds with two stones. Kill as many birds with as many stones as you want. We must eradicate birds."