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Joke of the Day

"I'm not the kind of girl to get mad and throw a drink in your face....that's wasteful. I'd drink it first and then glass you."

"Ugh. Do I really need to register to your website to leave a comment? I just need to disagree with this asshole real quick."

"we have ways of making you talk mr bond [introduces dave] this is dave, he's a vegan ""OK ENOUGH"""

"There are three unwritten rules of life. 1. 2. 3."

"What is a happy cowboy's favorite candy? A jolly rancher."

"I've thought about it, and there still is no good reason for me to grow up."

"The racist chainsaw when you turn it on it will roar out ""RUNNN-niggernigger!"""

"I always knew I'd end up drunk in a gutter. I just didn't expect everyone around me to keep bowling."

"Did you hear about those new anti-gravity cars? They really drive me up a wall!"

"What's a blonde's favorite color? A light shade of clear."