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Joke of the Day

"How many corpses does it take to change a lightbulb? Apparently more than 3, because it's been a week and my basement is still dark."

"Two guys are drinking at the country club bar... First guy says, ""Hey, you want to go play some golf?"" Second guy says, ""No, not today."" ""Why not?"" ""Because I never drink and drive."""

"Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead."

"I threw a recyclable item in the trash in case any ladies were looking for a ""badboy"" type."

"I'm 97% sure President Reagan would be riding a horse through the Middle East right now punching terrorists in the face."

"My school janitor is a part-time pianist. He has 88 keys."

"What is the difference between a bus driver and a cold? One knows the stops the other stops the nose."

"A fun way to get exercise is grab a chainsaw and chase a hiker."

"What's the difference between an introverted mathematician and an extroverted mathematician? The extrovert looks at the other person's shoes."

"""Hello, Time Warner? I need to speak with someone about setting up local Gotham cable in a secret prison. Yes, I'll hold."" - Bane"