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Joke of the Day

"What do Asians do when they have an erection? They vote"

"I decided to come to my friends as transparent they saw right through me."

"What does a man who loves his car do on February 14? He gives it a valenshine!"

"Q: Why shouldn't you listen to people who have just come out of the swimming pool? A: Because they are all wet."

"What's a Greek's favorite color of sky? Golden Dawn"

"Told my 4 yo that his hamster died and that was in heaven with God. 4yo: Why would God want a dead hamster?"

"Justin Bieber's birth certificate... was an apology letter from the condom factory."

"A cyclist gets into an accident... As he's wheeled into the hospital, he looks to the bed next to him and sees Bono. His face lights up, and he asks, ""U2?"""

"A friend asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. My response: Oh, about 20 minutes."

"Nigel: You said the school dentist would be painless but he wasn't. Teacher: Did he hurt you? Nigel: No but he screamed when I bit his finger."