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Joke of the Day

"Why is gravity the weakest of the 4 fundamental forces? Because it doesn't even lift."

"Go down a water slide when it isn't wet. And then you'll understand the importance of foreplay."

"Q: What's a tongue twister? A: When your tang gets all tongueled up."

"What's the best part of eating a burrito? Every time you fart, you lose weight."

"I love Summer. Two weeks of doing absolutely f*ck all. And, once my boss gets back, I get to go on holiday as well."

"Oh, you dropped out of school to pursue your dreams? Cool. I'll have a number 1 and hold the lettuce please."

"Why did the Moon break up with Earth? The Moon said they were slowly drifting apart."

"All I want from a woman is for her to hold my hand, look into my eyes, and tell me it's ok to get out of her bushes."

"Two silkworms had a race... I heard they ended in a tie."

"Me on the toilet: HEY I NEED SOME TOILET PAPER 6: *running around dressed like a mummy* we're all out"