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Joke of the Day

"I love Summer. Two weeks of doing absolutely f*ck all. And, once my boss gets back, I get to go on holiday as well."

"What do you call white on the top and black at the bottom? Society."

"A man starts a line of pickled venison ... ...the most popular flavor so far is dill doe."

"So I met a girl named Tennessee I said to her, ""You're a ten, I see!"" And that's how I blew it with the hottest girl in the world."

"Being a vegetarian is a missed steak. That's the joke. Now, fuck off!"

"Fact Every 60 seconds in Ukraine a minute passes"

"I watch Looney Tunes before I go to work, because there's something about old school cartoon violence that relaxes me"

"INVENTOR OF SOUP: [holding water in one hand and sandwich in the other] wat if... wat if water was mor like sandwich"

"""Dave just showed up"" Dave the fireman or Dave who always uses inappropriate abbreviations? *Dave barges in* HEY GUYS I'M DTF ""Yeah I dunno"""

"So a horse walks into a bar... The patrons of the bar then proceed to scream in surprise because there's A FREAKING HORSE IN THE BAR."