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Joke of the Day

"I was buying tickets with a friend at the cinema Staff: ""for the hobbit?"" Me. : ""no, she's my friend"""

"My daughter keeps rubbing lemon skin all over herself. I think she's pozest."

"Why did Hitler commit suicide suddenly? He lost the war.and he did Nazi that coming.."

"So my girlfriend told me she wanted to go to the zoo. I told her Wal-Mart is right down the street, and it's free."

"How do you get a one armed man off a tree? You wave to him"

"*Searches ""Yahoo"" on Yahoo until Yahoo has an orgasm*"

"What do you call a monkey named James that's afraid of everything? Jim-pansy"

"Woman: Is it a boy or a girl, doctor? Doctor: It's a mango. A perfectly ripe mango Woman: Oh thank GOD. I hate babies"

"What can walk over the water, but can travel under the water without getting wet? Jesus in a submarine."

"I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, gross, godless, evil stuff... and I want it (:"