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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an imp that is rushes to the hospital? Impatient OC from r/dadjokes"

"I want my tombstone to read: Don't feel too bad, he really liked sleeping"

"What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand? My hand"

"Why was schrodinger's cat in trouble with the law? I don't know, but he was wanted dead and alive."

"Relationship status: I ran out of toilet paper a week ago. Update: I am now running out of paper towels."

"Build a man a fire... and he will be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life."

"I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can't have any more food and I'm never ready for that kind of commitment."

"Donald Trump should hire the Chinese to build the wall After all, they have experience."

"What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi."

"Today some boiled water died.. It shall be mist"