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Joke of the Day

"Top Rated Videos: Dangerous Joke ever.Baby is being Edict.awkward http://streetpranks.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/dangerous-joke-everbaby-is-being.html"

"""Your word is 'oujia'"" -could you use that in a seance? [spelling bee judge puts hand over the mic] I think.. I think this guy just won"

"""HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU?! Seriously? You're 10 years old."" ""..."" ""Beer before liquor, never sicker. NEVER. SICKER."""

"Where did you leave your legless dog? Where you left him. And how do you call him? Doesn't matter, he won't come."

"My ex got run down by a bus today. I thought ""Wow, that could have been me!"" But I can't drive a bus."

"What does R. Kelly have in common with Malaysian Airlines? They both think they can fly."

"Friend- ""You're drunk."" Me- *mocking voice* ""You're drunk."" Friend- ""Stop."" Me- *morphs into clone of friend* ""Stop."""

"Why is the word ""clit"" so fun to say? It just rolls off the tongue."

"What is the difference between pink and purple? The grip."

"You must work at subway...cause you`re givin` me a foot long."