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Joke of the Day

"It's weird how all the UFOs started disappearing once our cameras got better."

"I just heard about it and I totally think I am... What if I'm a hypochondriac?"

"Baby you must be a vector image... Cause no matter how close I look you're still perfect."

"What is grosser that gross? Ten naked men running around in a circle and the first one stops."

"Future said ""I wake up on a daily basis"" so he other does so much drugs that that's an accomplishment or he doesnt know thats what people do"

"Do you know how long it's been since I've had an erection? About 8 inches."

"Him: I think you're my soul mate. Me: I'm so SO sorry for you."

"how do you mathematically describe the tempo of global warming? Al Gore Rhythm"

"Why were the burgers in the refrigerator embarrassed? They saw the salad dressing!"

"I don't plan on moving to California anymore. Everything is known to cause cancer in there."