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Joke of the Day

"I just brought a new computer... When i turned it on, instead of saying ""Welcome"", it said "" Hello"". It's a Dell."

"3 DBAs walk into a NoSQL bar.. And they left because there were no ""tables"".."

"What do a common garbage can and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common? No Oscar!"

"Why couldn't the children see their father after his sex change? Because he was trans-parent"

"friend of mine collapsed while he was putting the washing out the other day and had to be rushed to hospital. He almost pegged it."

"What are you watching tonight? The game where players make enough money to risk getting brain damage, or the debate where the players already have brain damage?"

"Imagine falling in love with someone and then discovering that he has faith in humanity."

"""She had a heart of gold."" - autopsy report"

"I can fake my way through most conversations with my kids if I just look up from my phone every time they stop talking and say ""no."""

"Boyfriend Joke To GF Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read ""Today, you are exactly where you should be."""