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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a programming language designed for women? An object oriented programming language."

"A woman in labor is in pain and screaming profanity at her husband from her hospital bed. He says, ""Hey, don't blame me! I wanted to stick it in your ass, but N-O-O-O-O, you said that might hurt!"""

"My wife is addicted to goji berries but I wish she was addicted to something cheaper like cocaine."

"I have seen this one on here before but nobody ever gets it right... A baby seal walks into a club - What a tragedy...."

"Why do all the little boys in Crete have golden penis's? Because thats the only place that King Mino's touches them!"

"You can tell a lot about a woman from her hands, for instance if they are firmly around your throat she is probably slightly upset."

"What do Micheal Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little crackers!"

"my cat sounds so cute when he sneezes but i really wish he'd stop wasting the coke. it's like goddamn amateur hour with him."

"What does racist matthew mcconaughey say? alt-right, alt-right, alt-right"

"How much do deer nuts cost? Under a buck"