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Joke of the Day
"I'm just like King Midas except everything I touch complains to human resources"
Next Joke
"Two cats decided to commit suicide by jumping off a cliff... The first cat jumped. The other was too much of a pussy."
"A sausage and an egg in a frying pan..... The sausage says to the egg: 'fucking hell its hot in here.' The egg says to the sausage: 'fucking hell, a talking sausage.'"
"What's the difference between a nun on her knees and a nun in the bath? One has hope in their soul, the other has soap in their hole"
"Being a dog with no legs - it's no walk in the park"
"""looks like a burrito fell out his pocket, hes crawling up to get it and crying. thats gonna cost points"" - commentators on my snowboard run"
"Why do black people get hit by cars more during winter time? Because they're easier to spot"
"A woman was battered over breakfast ...it was waffle :("
"I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day. It was a shock to the cistern."
"The amount of power surging through me after successfully giving a stranger directions can only be described as dangerous"