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Joke of the Day

"Why did James Comey refuse to indict Hillary Clinton? Because he found his suicide note in her Wikileaks emails."

"Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He comes once a year! :-)"

"What is a fretless bass good for? About thirty yards if you use both hands."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station, and one's a busty crustacean."

"I respect you, liquor store shopping cart user."

"The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line."

"British woman suing McDonalds after finding a cigarette in her ONE year old's Happy Meal.As if ciggie wasn't the healthiest thing in the bag"

"what's the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair when you're done."

"Sometimes relationships don't work out because of timing, but most of the time it's because someone is an asshole."

"*finds own number on a bathroom stall* Call for a good time!? This is outrageous! *crosses out good; writes in GREAT* There. Fixed."