10686

Joke of the Day

"I put my slacks on just like everyone else, from a waterslide into the loving yet frighteningly powerful arms of my pet minotaur Ferdinand"

"So I was reaching for the Viagra... But I picked up the tipp-ex by mistake. I woke up with a massive correction."

"Every day is the first day of the rest of your life. So I live like a newborn, sleepy and confused."

"What's the cheapest meat to buy? Deer balls. They're under a buck."

"Some people say filling animals with helium is wrong but i say, whatever floats your goat"

"If a tree falls in the woods.. ..and nobody is around to hear it, then I've found the perfect place for Justin Beiber"

"What's a woman's best curve? Her smile."

"I Like my women like i like my elevators.... If I push their buttons, they'll go down."

"My grandpa once told me... If you want a girl to accept your proposal, you have to spend 2 months salary on a ring. I asked him, what the hell is a salary?"

"Remember when you thought if you accidentally swallowed apple seeds, a tree would grow in your belly? God I miss my 'Thirties'...."