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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guru who refused to let the dentist use Novocain to numb his mouth? The guru said he wanted to transcend dental medication"

"""What? Huh? Talk louder. Nope, still nothing."" -5 minutes after receiving the deaf penalty"

"What does a bucket of KFC and a whore have in common? After you're done with the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in."

"At Toys ""R"" Us, Barbie and the Chuck Norris actions figures must be at least eight aisles apart by law. After all, it is a children's store."

"My guidelines for whether or not to have sex with a female were the same as how I chose outdoor sports. If there was grass on the field, I played ball."

"What do you call a bus filled with white people? A twinkie."

"What if a side effect to laxatives was death? That'd be a shitty way to die."

"Prominently display feminine hygiene products in your living space to let him know your eggs are still viable."

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? An addictionary Alternatively: High definition"

"Finally, I got the model wife I always wanted Unfortunately she's a plus size model"