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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guru who refused to let the dentist use Novocain to numb his mouth? The guru said he wanted to transcend dental medication"

"I'm a pedophile Just kidding"

"When someone says ""It is what it is,"" I reply, ""Isn't it?"" so we can both sound useless."

"So I was at Ikea the other day and bought a hot dog. The weird thing is, I had to put it together myself. And when I was finished, there were all these parts left over."

"Shazam but for telling you the name of someone who's only just been introduced to you 5 minutes ago but you weren't listening."

"*tightens straps on electric chair* Any last words? -I think male oysters should be called boysters Omg will someone throw the damn switch"

"You never get a second chance to make a first impression. Unless you work in the alzheimer's wing of a nursing home, then you get lots."

"how many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? juan."

"Have you heard about President Clinton's plan to secretly bomb eastern Ukraine? He called it the ""Donetsk, Don't Tell"""

"My girlfriend wasn't sure about trying anal at first But she quite liked it in the end"