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Joke of the Day

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming."

"If vid games answered back in real time they'd move lots more units I DIED? BULLSHIT! ""Maybe if you didn't suck.."" *slams x-box on floor*"

"Once I went to a zoo with only one animal. It was a shih tzu."

"It's crazy. One minute you're getting drunk as a skunk, then next thing you know, you're in the back of an ambulance. I really shouldn't be a paramedic."

"You know you're too drunk to drive when you swerve to miss a tree then realise it was your air freshener."

"What did Captain Picard call his poop? Captain's log"

"How do you tittilate an ocelot? Oscillate its tit a lot."

"Did you know ""orange"" is the same word in both French & English? Why didn't they do that with every word and make it easier on everyone?"

"""Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury... Cher would be nothing without the great Sonny."" - Pro Bono Lawyer"

"To the idiots who say ghosts aren't real, maybe you should watch this documentary called Ghostbusters."