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Joke of the Day

"I like big MUTTS & I cannot lie U other breeders can't deny When a dog walks in with a pretty mixed race & spots all on its face it gets PET"

"How do porcupines have sex? Very..................... . carefully."

"I approve of free range parenting the meat just tastes better."

"What Do You Call A Galloping Musician? Ludvig Van BeetHOOFen."

"Everybody is complaining about their significant other, and I'm over here trying to keep mine charged above 10%."

"I always said ""Aim for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."" But apparently that's not a valid excuse and I can't work for NASA anymore."

"How did the Mathematician relieve his constipation? He worked it out with a pencil!"

"Me: hello I've run out of toilet paper Front desk: oh I'm sorry for the inconvenience Me: oh no worries, but I've also run out of towels"

"One sperm says to another... ""Hey, which way to the egg?"" The other sperm replies, ""I'm not sure, but we just passed the tonsils."""

"I consider Words with Friends a work-related activity because it helps me take my mind off being stuck in this shithole."