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Joke of the Day

"How do porcupines have sex? Very..................... . carefully."

"I don't have ""safe sex"" ... ... because I have never been turned on by anything with a combination lock."

"Only in Scotland, will you ever see a man take a piss on a door, then open it and walk inside. (credit: Frankie Boyle)"

"Winner of the coin flip at Superbowl 50 announced earlier today. Hilary Clinton has decided to receive."

"If your house it hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT AND SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY. That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside."

"When police tell you to put your hands up and stop running you can still legally flee with a rapid series of cartwheels."

"Prostitutes are really over achievers... I mean all they do is succeed."

"The main lumberjack at my company does some minor computer hacking in his spare time... ...he's our key logger."

"For Halloween this year, I'm gonna be a dish. Because bitches do dishes."

"""How would you describe yourself, Plain Bagel?"" ""Hmm. Well, it's hard to think of a term other than 'bullshit'."" ""I agree, Plain Bagel."""