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Joke of the Day

"Me: hello I've run out of toilet paper Front desk: oh I'm sorry for the inconvenience Me: oh no worries, but I've also run out of towels"

"What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded."

"My Grandads motto was ""Never give up"".... He died of lung cancer"

"I was in the attic the other day... ...and I found a Christmas present that I meant to give to my daughter a year ago. It's a shame I forgot about it, she always wanted a puppy."

"If Hillary wins the election... Will she hire immigrants to install the glass ceiling in the White House?"

"Two snowmen in a field, one turned to the other and said ""I don't know about you but I can smell carrots!"""

"How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it takes at least three light bulbs."

"I tried to have a conversation with a rock. It was hard."

"*forgets to talk to friends for 4 weeks*"

"I sleep with my clothes on and one eye open. Not because I'm scared, but my zipper is broken and I've had too much botox on one side."